Confessing to One Another

Sin of adultery

There's more to clearing the sin of adultery then asking God to forgive! The consequences of sin are painful and may have long-term effects on one's life - even sin that God has forgiven - not only to ourselves, but to others. Therefore we all must strive not to sin. This is why the Bible warns to stay away from the slippery edge of sin. Although God will forgive them that confess their sins with a contrite spirit, there are conditions to this. One needs to admit and confess their sins to one another.

James 5:16 ... Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

Proverbs 28:13 ... He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.

In Leviticus Chapter 6, God's word speaks about restoration when one has sinned to another. How can one restore hurts from sin if he has not confessed to the one he has committed the sin against?

Leviticus 5:5... When a man is guilty in any of these, he shall confess the sin he has committed. (RSV)
This means confessing to God and man.

You have vowed to be faithful to your spouse till death do you part. Your marriage vow was before God and man. When you cheated on your spouse, you broke that sacred vow. As stated in the wedding vow: "I take you to be my wedded husband/wife, and I do promise and covenant, before God and these witnesses, to be your loving and faithful husband/wife, for richer or for poorer, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live." According to the above you stand guilty before God and your spouse. If the other woman/man is married you are also guilty to their spouse. How can God forgive you if you haven't confessed your sin also to specific others?

The tax collector, Zacchaeus confessed his sins to them from which he stole tax money, by paying them back fourfold (Luke 19:8). God, the Father, expects us to confess our sins and restore to whom we have sinned against; God and man. If one has stolen $100 from his neighbour will he be forgiven by God by keeping the 100 dollars? Of course not. Even if this neighbour will never miss the $100, the guilty one has to go down, confess his sin and pay him back the money he stole.

Furthermore, when sins are not confessed you will never be able to look straight into the eyes of your spouse, because of your guilt. You always have to hide your sin of adultery and make up lies so your spouse will not discover your sins. As long as you don't confess your sin there cannot be restoration, forgiveness or healing. You'll always be weaving a web of deception to cover up your moral impurity.

Proverbs 12:22... Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal faithfully are His delight. It is now up to you what you're going to do. And all these blessings shall come on thee, and overtake thee, if thou shalt "hearken" unto the voice of the LORD thy God.

A friend, family member or even a spiritual leader may suggest that you keep your sin to yourself and not to talk about it to your spouse for fear that he/she will retaliate. Such advice is deceiving and not scriptural. Indeed, we may not know how your spouse reacts, such are the consequences of sin. Nevertheless, you must obey God's word. If you prepare yourself in prayer you'll be surprised about the reaction of your spouse. Because you're doing what God demands from you, He will stand beside you and work on your behalf. If you keep your sin of adultery hidden your spouse will eventually find out through another source, which will be far worse than if you would have confessed. Just read 2 Samuel Chapter 12, about David after the prophet Nathan delivered God's word to King David concerning his sin of adultery and murder.

Deuteronomy 28:2 ... And all these blessings shall come on thee, and overtake thee, if thou shalt hearken unto the voice of the Lord thy God.

Romans 12:1,2... Ours is the daily sacrifice of the sinful self on the cross of Christ.... Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Let me tell you this much, my friend, any sin we do to others needs to be confessed and asked forgiveness of; be it adultery, theft, lies or abuse. We all come short of the glory of God. We all fail each other sooner or later. But not confessing to each other makes things even worse and brings guilt upon our own soul. We need to stay cleansed by the Blood of Jesus Christ and cleared from any shame. We need to keep our garments white, without spot or wrinkle, no matter the cost. Think about how you'll answer the Lord for your actions when you meet Him face to face. Better to crumble now under your confession, than when you're standing before God Almighty.

Be wise and take this Godly advice,
or go by satan's rule and be a fool.
Either way, it's up to you what to do,
as you can only choose between these two.

Psalm 143:8,10... Cause me to hear Thy loving kindness in the morning; for in Thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto Thee. ...Teach me to do Thy will, for Thou art my God: Thy Spirit is good; lead me into the Land of uprightness.

Psalm 94:19, 22... In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul......But the Lord has been my defense, and my God the Rock of my refuge.

Fear not and be not dismayed for I am with thee, says the Lord Almighty.


Take my hand, O Lord and Master
Lead me upwards, heaven bound
Walk beside me and undergird me
As I struggle while aground

Help me make the right decisions
In my walk to do Your will
Please, Lord, give me courage
To make corrections when I spill

Now I need Your tender mercies
For I'm not very good at this
To openly confess my blunders
Proves that I'm greatly amiss

Show me Your true kindness
As I need to confess my sin
Soften the hearts of others
With whom healing needs to begin

I will only trust in You, Lord
For I have no other strength
Relying on You completely
Will provide me another chance

Praises be to God, our Father
Who has all the power and might
When I humbly seek His face now
He'll surely make all things right


Copyright Dr.Trudy Veerman, 2001, Webmaster.
All rights reserved.

see original posting click here (copied with permission of Dr. Trudy to our website)